Unhappy? Clap and Get Ready to Change!

“If you’re unhappy and you know it clap your hands! (Clap! Clap). If you’re unhappy and you know it clap your hands! (Clap! Clap). If you’re unhappy and you know it and you don’t know how to show it, if you’re unhappy and you know it…. Clap your hands!

There’s a song very similar to this little ditty I used to sing as a kid. Funny how now older and wiser, I know that clapping my hands during a time of unhappiness/negativity changes that unwanted vibration and introduces a change for the better…..

How many of us are unhappy at something in our lives? I know I was. As a Black female with a master’s degree in corporate America it became blaringly evident that I would have to work 15 times harder, get paid less and never ascribe to the career greatness as my white female peers do effortlessly. I was systematically being shown the presence of racism and I didn't like it.

What once was an awesome career opportunity became a noose around my neck: it got so severe that I would sit in my car in the company parking lot for almost an hour talking myself into going in for another 8- 10 hours of hell. It was getting fugly.

Suddenly, I didn't see the big picture, I didn't speak their language (I am an native American), no one could understand me; I was not a team player. I was given cases that involved people of color because ‘I could understand them.’ The writing was on the wall, the line drawn in the sand. It was time for me to make that change, but how? I didn't know anyone else who experienced what I had or made a change for the better. What was I to do?

It took me a few years, a good therapist, a good labor attorney and a couple more failed tries in the corporate world; I got myself de-branded (It’s like being de-brainwashed after being in a cult) and I rebuilt myself. I explored for a bit and started my own business twice and failed before I gave it another try and I hit success.

BEFORE success I faced many challenges: spiritual (I had to submit fully to my God and faith, I was a consummate control freak who had to surrender control), social (I lost friends who did not support me in my dreams, I am STILL single), financial (gave up many luxuries like cable and eating out) and of course professional (the racism is present in ALL avenues of professions). I learned about my faith and about myself more than ever in my life. I let go and stepped out into the unfamiliar; as a result I became a citizen of the universe – who knew? J.

Another colleague of mine is now at the beginning stage of what I just went through for the past three years. She and I held the same job with the same organization at different times. We shared our stories together and we both agree the job and the people left both of us extremely traumatized.  My colleague gave me praise for stepping out on my own. In just a few months she too did the same: walked away from TWO master’s degrees, a job and career to start up her own business working with animals – she’s white.

I immediately got on the phone to her after receiving her resignation email announcement and I cheered her on and gave her my rousing and sincere support. While many of our peers used her story as fodder for speculation (“all that education and she’s working with dogs…), I immediately understood what happened with this woman and why – the same happened to me. I know her journey will differ from mine; there are still black/white paradigms to cross but there is a bond in the fact that we both made a conscious choice to live outside of the box – to diverge.

It doesn't matter how many degrees you have or how great the job is – at the end of the day if you are not happy with you, if you have lost your vision/dream/big picture, if you are so branded by your profession that gives you a paycheck yet you have no idea whom you are, if you find yourself sickly, depressed, overweight, unfulfilled or UNHAPPY, clap your hands together, then get ready to take action! There IS life outside of the box – YOURS.