Doula Bag
Denise Bolds MSW CD(DONA)
January 11, 2018
Many new and seasoned doulas often feel the weight of the ‘should’ and ‘could’ of being a doula. One ongoing query of angst among doulas: “The must haves for the doula bag.”
Doulas have a bag of special support tools they use with their skill set of comfort techniques for a person in labor. Everything from rebozos to squeeze balls to chapsticks. All too frequently, I am asked: ‘Denise, what do you have in your doula bag?’
My doula bag are two bags: a tote with my comfort items, and a larger bag with a yoga mat, bolsters and birth ball. My comfort items range from sleep mask to honey sticks, a shower cap, a change of socks and underwear for myself. I also carry a bluetooth speaker and an electric oil diffuser so Mom can use scented oils. One of my clients calls me “Doula Poppins” after the character Mary Poppins. My bag often grows, then I purge it out.
December, 2016 winter solstice night, I went to support a birth of a first time mom. Upon my arrival at her home, I observed Mom’s labor progressing very well, and quickly. All of a sudden, meconium went everywhere! Mom was now grunting in her contractions; she was ready to push. I immediately informed her husband we had to leave immediately for the hospital, I cleaned up my laboring client quickly. In the darkest, longest winter night of the year we flew down side roads making to the hospital with Mom making ‘horse lips’ all the way!
In no time, we parked in the emergency room parking lot. I jumped out of my car in a run to support my client with a wheelchair. In my haste, I left my doula bags behind. Upstairs, my client was triaged, her baby flipped during a contraction and was now birthing breech. Her contractions were so intense, the nursing staff could not get her vein to start an IV. The birthing room was a flurry of people. I knew in order for her to do well with her birth, she had to focus. I had to pull her back into focus.
I turned my laboring client’s focus solely upon me while her husband answered questions necessary to admit her. I talked my client down from the high perch of instability and chaos she was quickly heading towards. With my voice, my presence, my focus, my confidence, I was able to calm her. I did Reki upon her by placing my hands over her heart while focusing my thoughts on the most calm, beautiful sunny day on the beach… as a result, she released enough tension, the nurse was able to start an IV. Her baby boy was born; in an amazing birth. This all occurred less than an hour from door to door, without my two doula bags. You are wondering what’s my point?
Many doulas are so focused upon props in the doula profession; a marketing mania they believe is a must have to grow business. In actuality, all a doula really needs is him/herself. To possess a belief they can empower, they can be of service of support to another without infringing upon clinical boundaries, without devaluing the practice and without their doula bag.
The doula bag is more for the doula than it is for the client. Think of Linus and his blanket, the security it gives him. What does the doula bag do for the doula?
Doulas, here’s the take-away: you don’t always need a bag of items and props to support a birth. Of course its nice and fun to have. At the end of the day, all a laboring person need is you; your confidence, your compassion, your respect, your intuition, your truth that you are here for them. Don’t become so caught up in the ‘should’ of the doula practice that you forget why you are a doula. There have been births I supported where I never had an opportunity to open my doula bags at a birth; it was awesome.
Doula, I dare you to attend a birth with just yourself and your pocketbook. Watch what happens. Notice your heightened intuition and ingenuity. Can you recall a birth where you didn't have time to open your doula bag? What was that birth like? How was your support? What’s in your doula bag? Who is it for? You or your client?
