Impressionable.  

By Denise Bolds MSW, CD. February 18, 2015.

The news is rampant over Bobbi Kristina Brown being found face down in a bathtub unresponsive. This scenario eerily repeats of her famous mother Whitney Houston who was also found in a bathtub unresponsive and declared dead of a drug overdose February 11, 2012.

What was it like growing up with TWO celebrity parents? The wealth and actions a young impressionable girl witnesses. What impressions were formed and how did that chain of impressionism become a noose around the necks of both Whitney and her daughter Bobbi Kristina?

The term impression is a noun and is defined as:  “An imitation of a person or thing, especially one done to entertain.”

Many times it has been said that “Impression is a form of flattery.” What does this mean for a young Black girl? I can remember Whitney Houston’s mother Cissy and brother Michael were interviewed by Oprah after Whitney’s death, on national television Michael admitted to being the one to introduce Whitney his younger sister to drugs. The look on Cissy’s face was priceless. I don’t know how Michael Houston sleeps at night. A younger sibling is always enamored to the older brother/sister and is highly impressionable of that sibling.

 I can remember my own young years (mid 70’s to early 80’s) all too well, it has a similar tune to Whitney and Michael Houston. I have a sister who is seven years older than me, growing up I adored her. To me she was perfect in all ways and she is beautiful. I wanted to be like her; cool in all ways, graceful, fashionable; she could dance her ass off and braid hair like nobody else. My beautiful sister whom I adored was also heavily into drugs (cocaine).

I wanted to be with my sister as much as possible; go everywhere and be in everything. In my tender adolescence she was godlike to me. We did many things together, then my heart broke, my big sister became distant; we no longer hung out and did things together, she had other friends and they were doing things that I was not a part of and my sister did not expose me to.

Fast forward to 2015: I am 50 years old and successful in many ways (college graduate, professional, parent). I have not spoken to my sister in over 20 years but I know drugs (cocaine & marijuana) have been a part of her life for a very long time. My sister met my son (her nephew) when he was a baby, she gave him “Bear” a toy my son slept with for years and I now keep for his future children.

The epiphany came to me after hearing about Bobbi Kristina Brown: What if my sister introduced me to her life style of drug use? At the highly impressionable age of 12 and onwards I would be an easy, compliant participant because I idolized my sister dearly, I would have used or did anything she requested of me. The miracle is my sister did the complete opposite; she pushed me away from her, the resulting estrangement saved my life.

What would have become of me if I did follow in my sister’s footsteps of drug use? Would I be the person I am today? Would I have my son, my health, strength and integrity? Would I be alive? As impressionable as I was, if my sister gave me drugs to use in my youth I would have; my parents would have lost two daughters not one.

I posed this very same observation to my mother in a phone conversation a few days ago and her response: silence. For me, I think of my sister daily. I want her to see the woman I've become, I owe my success to her ‘abandonment’ of me; had I stuck around and did the “Every Little Step” (As Bobby Brown sang) as she did, my life would be completely different than it is today.

Thinking about Whitney Houston and her brother Michael’s testimony on national television: was there an ulterior motive? Sibling rivalry? It sure was present in my family as my beautiful sister was dark complexion and I was light. I am also the apple of my parent’s eyes, not my choice. Neither my sister nor I asked for this schism by skin color, it is just another avenue in Black family dysfunction.

Did Michael Houston know the possible outcome of his introducing his baby sister Whitney to drugs? Did Michael consider her death and the addiction spreading to his niece, Whitney’s daughter Bobbi Kristina?

As a Black woman I put this very personal blog out to raise awareness and promote positive communication of the destruction of the Black family as a result of drugs: drugs alters lives, separates lives and takes lives. Our young family members are just as vulnerable to their own kin as they are to the world they face every day. As for me, Whitney’s most famous song “I will always love you” resonates so clearly for this Black woman who still loves her sister and misses her each and every day. I remain grateful for my sister's decision of estrangement even in it's severity. What a heavy price to pay. Many Black families have also paid as well as Whitney and Bobbi Kristina. In this case, it is better to just walk away.