The Evident Double Standard – Or Should I Say 14…
I am a black single mother for the past 18 years and I am proud of my distinction. My son is a freshman in college and he is off to a wonderful future that I supported him to. These years have not always been rosy and kind, there have been challenges.
Being a black single mother in the eyes of society is not considered trendy, chic or glorifying – in fact, I am a double statistic; society believes it would be better if my black baby and all single mother black babies would be destroyed. Society has not censored its views on black single motherhood. I can remember wearing my wedding band for a long time after my divorce while my son was still a baby. The looks, hostile stares and innuendos were all based upon stigmas from slavery. It did not matter that I am a working professional with a nanny to take care of my son while I worked. My son and I were not accepted by society and we were expected to fail.
Imagine the range of emotions I went through as I am sure many other black single mothers did upon hearing the octuplet’s birth mother already having six children at home.
This white single mother under the age of 30 lives off of Workman’s Compensation, no profession and no husband. Some of her six children are disabled and obtain benefits.
The hypocrisy of society is quite evident: It is ok to be a white single mother, but to be a black single mother is unacceptable. As a medical social worker, there are many questions that come to my mind – the most prevalent being: Who is helping this mother to support and care for her 14 children? What medical professional would impregnate a woman in this scenario?
I do understand that the medical professional is limited to what the patient discloses, but this case almost seems unreal.
For years there has been ‘scientific’ data supporting the theories of why black single parenting is a burden on society and the correlation of the burden being the result of no father being present for financial and parental support. This white woman under the age of 30, living on disability checks is in a home that her parents have brought for her and she is the mother of six children, decides that she ‘wants her eggs’ and gets impregnated with eight more? Was there a psychological evaluation done on this woman?
It is reported that this mother came into the hospital already four months pregnant with 8 fetuses – whom preformed the invitro fertilization? There is a sad and obvious psychosis here waiting to be diagnosed. Once these babies become older- will this 27 year old want to become pregnant again? There are reported inconsistencies in the medical history of this mother that her own parents are contesting.
This single white mother under the age of 30 now has a publicist, numerous television appearances, possible book deal and reality television show in the works. Someone will donate a house, van and diapers for all of these children – all of these actions glorifying what black single mothers are and have been judged and persecuted for by society for hundreds of years.
The repercussions are many, as a medical social worker, I know the cost of a premature infant being in the NICU (neo-natal intensive care unit) ranges between $15-20 thousand dollars per day – times that by eight babies, about $140,000 per day – for about two months (60 days) until they can be discharged to home. This does not include the cost to deliver these babies or the prenatal by a Perinatologist. Who is paying for all of this? What quality of life will these preemies have? Premature infants require lots of care and lots of dollars to fund the care they receive – at whose expense?
The mother of these babies is out on Workman’s Compensation for a back injury sustained at work – carrying eight fetuses would certainly exacerbate the back injury. Does this mean the mother collects Workman’s Compensation for life? There is no way this mother can support these babies alone financially without receiving public assistance unless she was born a Kennedy, and I don’t see them having litters of babies either.
Has this woman been enabled by society? Does this woman have a psychosis? Her rationale for having all of these children is: “They are my eggs and I want to have them.”
Women are born usually with two ovaries, both having hundreds of unfertilized eggs. Does this mother intend to try to birth them all? The fertilization process in sexual reproduction occurs for a reason; it is nature’s way of promoting natural selection. If science did not intervene, how many of these eggs would eventually become human beings?
The quality of life has to be strongly questioned for these children – all 14 of them. This scenario is unnatural and unethical, requiring both investigation and prosecution. The medical profession has revealed its dark side with these births. The quality of life has not been considered. Science, notoriety, and fame are dominant. To openly support this white woman who is under the age of 30 and unmarried with 14 children is to openly admit that black single mothers have been and continue to be stigmatized by society. Just in case there may be some doubt of the validity of my statements - here is a breakdown of the costs to care for these children: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090212/ap_on_re_us/octuplets
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