Doula Bag

Denise Bolds MSW, CD(DONA)

January 9, 2017

It’s a new year; 12 months of births, breasts, trainings, blogs and communications on social media. I’ve been in the doula world for over 2 years now; I possess a master’s degree in social work; I am still learning about my practice and myself as a doula. Many new doulas and seasoned doulas come to me and ask for advice and guidance. These wonderful women often feel the weight of the ‘should’ and ‘could’ resulting in some of the most, harsh and combative scenarios I have ever witnessed from my own gender. One ongoing query of angst among doulas: the doula bag. There are numerous articles on: “The must haves for the doula bag.”

Many doulas have a bag of special support tools they use with their skills in comfort techniques for a woman in labor. Everything from rebozos to squeeze balls. All too frequently, I am asked: ‘What do you have in your doula bag Denise?’

In response, my doula bag are two bags: a tote with my comfort items and a larger bag with a yoga mat, bolsters, birth ball and a peanut or two. My comfort items range from sleep mask to honey sticks to a change of socks and underwear for myself. I also carry a bluetooth speaker and an electric diffuser so mom can use her scented oils. Sometimes I feel as though I am Mary Poppins. 

December, 2016 winter solstice night, I was called to support a birth of a first time mom. Upon my arrival at her home, I witnessed mom’s labor going very well, and quickly. On her second trip to the bathroom, I accompanied her; she was in her labor zone, I didn't want to leave her unattended. As she pulled down her pants, meconium went everywhere! Mom was now grunting in her contractions, she was getting ready to push. I immediately informed the husband we had to leave for the hospital immediately, I cleaned up my laboring client quickly and explained what we must do; we got to the hospital in the darkest of night.

There was no time, we parked in the emergency room parking lot. I jumped out of my car running to support my client inside to a wheelchair. In my haste, I left my two doula bags behind. Upstairs, my client was evaluated, her baby had flipped and was now breech. Her contractions were so intense, the nursing staff could not get a vein to start an IV. My client’s birthing room was a flurry of clinical staff, obstetrician, anesthesiologist, midwife, the husband and myself. While everyone was as calm and professional as possible, an aura of urgency was dominating. My client had begun to take in some of this energy, I knew in order for her to do well with her birth, she had to focus.

I turned my laboring client focus solely upon me, my eyes and my voice while her husband answered the questions needed for admitting. I talked my client down from the high perch of instability she was heading towards. With my voice, my presence, my focus, my confidence I was able to calm her. I did Reki on her by placing my hands over her heart focusing my thoughts on the most calm, beautiful sunny day on the beach… as a result of her releasing her tension, the nurse was able to start an IV with a Hep-Loc.  I kept my client calm with her focus upon me while the clinical staff worked on her birth.

Her baby boy was born; it was an amazing birth. All of this occurred less than two hours, without my two doula bags. You are wondering what is my point?

Many doulas are so focused upon the props in the profession, all the attachments to grow their business. Most times all a doula really needs is herself. To possess a belief in herself she can empower, she can be of service and support to another without infringing upon clinical boundaries, without devaluing her work and without her doula bag.

There are times when I do have my two doula bags and I still am in need of something. Laboring at home with another client, I had her use the bathtub for hydrotherapy. The tub stopper wasn't working well, I had nothing in my bag for this.  I went to her kitchen and found a rubber jar opener to use in the tub to stop the water leaking out. I had to use my wits and improvise.  At that moment, it was about the client, not me. The doula bag is more for the doula than it is for the client.

Doulas, here’s the take-away: you do not always need a bag of items and props to support a client. Of course its nice and fun to have. At the end of the day, all a laboring woman need is you; your confidence, your compassion, your respect, your intuition, your truth that you are here for her. Don’t become so caught up in the ‘should’ in the doula world that you forget why you are a doula; because your heart calls you, because you come from an ancestry of empowerment, because you believe in what you are providing. 

I am a certified doula, I’m proud of what I do. I remain humble to witness a miracle called birth as part of my job. Each birth brings me to trust more deeply in myself, my confidence and my truth; there’s no outside bag that can hold this - only me, myself and I hold and carry these attributes. 

I still have my bags I support women with in my doula practice. There will be another time when I will not have my two bags with me; I will support my client just as well as if they were with me because of what I carry within. What’s in your doula bag? Who is it for?