Impressionable.  

By Denise Bolds MSW, CD. February 18, 2015.

The news is rampant over Bobbi Kristina Brown being found face down in a bathtub unresponsive. This scenario eerily repeats of her famous mother Whitney Houston who was also found in a bathtub unresponsive and declared dead of a drug overdose February 11, 2012.

What was it like growing up with TWO celebrity parents? The wealth and actions a young impressionable girl witnesses. What impressions were formed and how did that chain of impressionism become a noose around the necks of both Whitney and her daughter Bobbi Kristina?

The term impression is a noun and is defined as:  “An imitation of a person or thing, especially one done to entertain.”

Many times it has been said that “Impression is a form of flattery.” What does this mean for a young Black girl? I can remember Whitney Houston’s mother Cissy and brother Michael were interviewed by Oprah after Whitney’s death, on national television Michael admitted to being the one to introduce Whitney his younger sister to drugs. The look on Cissy’s face was priceless. I don’t know how Michael Houston sleeps at night. A younger sibling is always enamored to the older brother/sister and is highly impressionable of that sibling.

 I can remember my own young years (mid 70’s to early 80’s) all too well, it has a similar tune to Whitney and Michael Houston. I have a sister who is seven years older than me, growing up I adored her. To me she was perfect in all ways and she is beautiful. I wanted to be like her; cool in all ways, graceful, fashionable; she could dance her ass off and braid hair like nobody else. My beautiful sister whom I adored was also heavily into drugs (cocaine).

I wanted to be with my sister as much as possible; go everywhere and be in everything. In my tender adolescence she was godlike to me. We did many things together, then my heart broke, my big sister became distant; we no longer hung out and did things together, she had other friends and they were doing things that I was not a part of and my sister did not expose me to.

Fast forward to 2015: I am 50 years old and successful in many ways (college graduate, professional, parent). I have not spoken to my sister in over 20 years but I know drugs (cocaine & marijuana) have been a part of her life for a very long time. My sister met my son (her nephew) when he was a baby, she gave him “Bear” a toy my son slept with for years and I now keep for his future children.

The epiphany came to me after hearing about Bobbi Kristina Brown: What if my sister introduced me to her life style of drug use? At the highly impressionable age of 12 and onwards I would be an easy, compliant participant because I idolized my sister dearly, I would have used or did anything she requested of me. The miracle is my sister did the complete opposite; she pushed me away from her, the resulting estrangement saved my life.

What would have become of me if I did follow in my sister’s footsteps of drug use? Would I be the person I am today? Would I have my son, my health, strength and integrity? Would I be alive? As impressionable as I was, if my sister gave me drugs to use in my youth I would have; my parents would have lost two daughters not one.

I posed this very same observation to my mother in a phone conversation a few days ago and her response: silence. For me, I think of my sister daily. I want her to see the woman I've become, I owe my success to her ‘abandonment’ of me; had I stuck around and did the “Every Little Step” (As Bobby Brown sang) as she did, my life would be completely different than it is today.

Thinking about Whitney Houston and her brother Michael’s testimony on national television: was there an ulterior motive? Sibling rivalry? It sure was present in my family as my beautiful sister was dark complexion and I was light. I am also the apple of my parent’s eyes, not my choice. Neither my sister nor I asked for this schism by skin color, it is just another avenue in Black family dysfunction.

Did Michael Houston know the possible outcome of his introducing his baby sister Whitney to drugs? Did Michael consider her death and the addiction spreading to his niece, Whitney’s daughter Bobbi Kristina?

As a Black woman I put this very personal blog out to raise awareness and promote positive communication of the destruction of the Black family as a result of drugs: drugs alters lives, separates lives and takes lives. Our young family members are just as vulnerable to their own kin as they are to the world they face every day. As for me, Whitney’s most famous song “I will always love you” resonates so clearly for this Black woman who still loves her sister and misses her each and every day. I remain grateful for my sister's decision of estrangement even in it's severity. What a heavy price to pay. Many Black families have also paid as well as Whitney and Bobbi Kristina. In this case, it is better to just walk away. 

Unhappy? Clap and Get Ready to Change!

“If you’re unhappy and you know it clap your hands! (Clap! Clap). If you’re unhappy and you know it clap your hands! (Clap! Clap). If you’re unhappy and you know it and you don’t know how to show it, if you’re unhappy and you know it…. Clap your hands!

There’s a song very similar to this little ditty I used to sing as a kid. Funny how now older and wiser, I know that clapping my hands during a time of unhappiness/negativity changes that unwanted vibration and introduces a change for the better…..

How many of us are unhappy at something in our lives? I know I was. As a Black female with a master’s degree in corporate America it became blaringly evident that I would have to work 15 times harder, get paid less and never ascribe to the career greatness as my white female peers do effortlessly. I was systematically being shown the presence of racism and I didn't like it.

What once was an awesome career opportunity became a noose around my neck: it got so severe that I would sit in my car in the company parking lot for almost an hour talking myself into going in for another 8- 10 hours of hell. It was getting fugly.

Suddenly, I didn't see the big picture, I didn't speak their language (I am an native American), no one could understand me; I was not a team player. I was given cases that involved people of color because ‘I could understand them.’ The writing was on the wall, the line drawn in the sand. It was time for me to make that change, but how? I didn't know anyone else who experienced what I had or made a change for the better. What was I to do?

It took me a few years, a good therapist, a good labor attorney and a couple more failed tries in the corporate world; I got myself de-branded (It’s like being de-brainwashed after being in a cult) and I rebuilt myself. I explored for a bit and started my own business twice and failed before I gave it another try and I hit success.

BEFORE success I faced many challenges: spiritual (I had to submit fully to my God and faith, I was a consummate control freak who had to surrender control), social (I lost friends who did not support me in my dreams, I am STILL single), financial (gave up many luxuries like cable and eating out) and of course professional (the racism is present in ALL avenues of professions). I learned about my faith and about myself more than ever in my life. I let go and stepped out into the unfamiliar; as a result I became a citizen of the universe – who knew? J.

Another colleague of mine is now at the beginning stage of what I just went through for the past three years. She and I held the same job with the same organization at different times. We shared our stories together and we both agree the job and the people left both of us extremely traumatized.  My colleague gave me praise for stepping out on my own. In just a few months she too did the same: walked away from TWO master’s degrees, a job and career to start up her own business working with animals – she’s white.

I immediately got on the phone to her after receiving her resignation email announcement and I cheered her on and gave her my rousing and sincere support. While many of our peers used her story as fodder for speculation (“all that education and she’s working with dogs…), I immediately understood what happened with this woman and why – the same happened to me. I know her journey will differ from mine; there are still black/white paradigms to cross but there is a bond in the fact that we both made a conscious choice to live outside of the box – to diverge.

It doesn't matter how many degrees you have or how great the job is – at the end of the day if you are not happy with you, if you have lost your vision/dream/big picture, if you are so branded by your profession that gives you a paycheck yet you have no idea whom you are, if you find yourself sickly, depressed, overweight, unfulfilled or UNHAPPY, clap your hands together, then get ready to take action! There IS life outside of the box – YOURS.

The Ni@@er and the Teachable Moment

Denise Bolds, MSW

June 24, 2013

 

 

Once again I am riding the wave of obscurity with the Paula Deen incident. Being partially raised in the south and Black I am astounded at how the media and many Blacks are completely blowing past the teachable moment here. Paula Deen is a southern woman raised in the south – okay -we get that. And at Paula’s age, you can be sure she has and still probably does use the n-word. THAT is part of the southern culture; Django could not have emphasized this concept any more clearly: Blacks did not have names in conversations or communication; a Black person male, female or child was addressed as ‘ni@@er’. Period.

What’s missing from the media is Paula Deen and her cooking empire; Paula Deen Enterprises are being sued in a $1.2 MILLION DOLLAR lawsuit for sexual and racial discrimination by former employees who happen to be white. What the media does not bring forth is how Blacks in this day and age are still being mistreated in the workforce by the good ‘ole US of A.

Paula’s revelation came through a deposition – remember that. Under oath Paula Deen admitted to what is considered by many to be mainstream vernacular. The fine line here is Blacks in the music industry have basically prostituted themselves and the n-word in entertainment for large sums of money = Rap Music. The n-word has no place in the work place especially being used in a derogatory manner by whites as alleged in the lawsuit against Paula Deen Enterprises.

So, the response from useless pontiffs in the media is: “Paula is doing what Blacks do to themselves regularly, it’s called rap music! Ha! Ha! Ha!” Here’s where the teachable moment comes in:

Yes, the word ni@@er is used mainstream in rap music, and I do not agree with it. If I had my way as many other Blacks feel, I would have marched and protested vehemently as the white music producers and executives allowed this oppressive word to become mainstream. When Michael Jackson used the word “Kike” in one of his songs in 1996, Jackson’s record label had to recall and edit CD’s due to the ‘outrage’ by the Jewish community. 

Blacks should be following the Paula Deen incident as a red flag of what occurs for Blacks in the work place and the hostile environment Blacks face for employment every day. I don’t hear the useless pontiffs’ speaking about THIS. Paula Deen and Paula Deen Enterprises should be mandated to undergo a HUGE employer racial sensitivity training  as part of the settlement; I don’t hear Blacks demanding this either. It’s not enough that Paula Deen was let go from the Food Network Channel and lost several endorsements, she will rebound. Firing Paula Deen is not doing anything for Blacks unless it is identified that being Black does not places a bulls eye on one’s forehead for workplace hostility called racism.

The Paula Deen incident has left the media spotlight – but as time reveals, there is more to the atrocities and racial targeting Black employees endured employed at Paula Deen Enterprises. When will the media admit the hostilities Blacks face being employed in America. Don’t believe it? Look at the barrage of racial slurs and disgusting pictures about first Black president of the United States Barack Obama. Many of these outrageous emails and publications came from supposedly educated, elected officials – all white.

Teachable moment: I don’t care where you grew up or how you were raised; derogatory words such as ni@@er does not belong in the work place. For myself and the many Blacks I interact with, many agree with me that ni@@er doesn’t belong in a song either. It’s time for Blacks to stand up, step out and put the n-word where it belongs – OUT of the common, mainstream of America. This word is and will always shall be a title of oppression that was over 400 years of darkness in America called slavery. Imagine if Blacks were outraged as the Jews and Native Americans are? We would have restitution, federal scholarships for our children to attend college and profits from casinos. I’m Just Sayin…

 

 

 

Why I Will Not Celebrate July 4th



Denise Bolds, MSW July, 2013

Another July 4th is upon America, land of the free and home of the brave. The national holiday that stops all postal, banking and business is to commemorate the adoption of the Declaration of Independence from Great Britain. The Declaration of Independence gave freedom of the 13 colonies from the ‘rule’ by Britain 237 years ago.

Independence is freedom, respect and equality, as an African American I don’t see these concepts readily for my people. Last week as America celebrated a gain for marriage equality, blacks lost vital voting rights. With a black president of the United States of America, blacks are still behind; having the highest rate in unemployment, school drop-out, teen pregnancy, crime, incarceration, infant mortality and mental/ medical illness.

As an African American woman and single parent I have been called nigger, followed in stores, denied housing and jobs because of my ethnicity, stereotyped, called ‘angry’, treated as though I am invisible and most of all blamed for the travesties of my black race. I cannot celebrate Independence Day July 4th because I am black and the Declaration of Independence did not and does not include me.

Would I fare better in another country? There is that chance. I cannot forget my ancestors were taken hostage from Africa, brought to a cruel continent where they were denied their language, culture, religion and rights as human beings and forced to endure the cruelest forms of oppression for over 400 years. I cannot forget and put aside the 400 years of oppression called slavery. I cannot celebrate Independence Day July 4th. July 4th 1776 blacks were still slaves in America.

For every black man incarcerated for a crime he did not commit.
For the Moynihan Papers.
For the Rockefeller Laws.
For Stand Your Ground.
For every black family that is fractured.
For every gun and liquor store in predominately black communities.
For every black baby born underweight or prematurely.
For every black child wrongfully assigned to special education.
For every Oscar Grant, Travon Martin and DJ Henry killed with little or no repercussion.
For every black female wrongfully processed by USA judicial system.
For every dollar the record and media executives earn by exploiting the word ‘nigger’ and the misrepresentation of black culture.
For every job I am qualified for but refused because I am black.
For every bit of black history that is not mainstreamed in America that was built on the backs and wombs of blacks.
For every black child on the pipeline from the education system to incarceration.
For every aspect of black history that is carelessly thrown into dumpsters.
For every health disparity both mental and medical received by blacks.
For every police officer who utilizes excessive force and kills blacks without any punishment.
For the hypocrisy that is white entitlement.
For every black man, woman and child ascribed to a life of less than because they are black.
For every black man, woman and child who have forgotten black history and the lives paid for what we are today.
For every black man, woman and child who cannot see the black humanity crisis that is evident.
For every black man, woman and child who remains silent and complacent.

For the fact that in 2013; I feel compelled, because the sign of the times to write such an article. I cannot celebrate July 4th Independence Day. 237 years later with all of the contributions made by blacks, we are still destroyed, denied, distracted, disenfranchised and devalued.

If You Want a Michelle – Then Please Be a Barack…

If You Want a Michelle – Then Please Be a Barack…

By Denise Bolds, February 7, 2010

As the discussion of relationships between the black man and black woman continue, I hear black men lament: “I really want a Michelle Obama.” It is true; First Lady Michelle Obama is someone I greatly admire: a strong black woman who is educated, family focused and confident in her deep brown complexion. I find myself praying more for her and her daughters than I pray for her husband.

Michelle Obama is very comfortable in her blackness and she speaks very clearly on her values – she even wears her clothes more than once. I say in response to the black man who desires a Michelle in their lives… Please be a Barack: Step up to your Michelle with your education and earnings potential intact, with no baby mama drama, no incarcerations or drug use. Be ready to woo and court your Michelle and ask for her hand in marriage. Be ready to be a father who is present in the lives of your children, be able to contribute to your community, be humble, and be a good listener and not a lecturer but a speaker. Be ready to participate spiritually.

Black man who wants a Michelle – please be ready and able to tell the world that your Michelle is your best friend; how you would not have made it without her, let the world see your face light up as you look at her. Let the world see you step up, protect and provide for your Michelle. Black man, of you want a Michelle – please make damn sure YOU are a Barack Obama.

Black woman if you want a Barack Obama – you better be a Michelle: humble, educated, family orientated. Please be willing and able to believe and see your Barack’s dreams: work with him, be ready to sacrifice and put your own dreams on pause for a bit, be a present mother to your children and put away the tally sheet of ‘honey-you-must-do’s’. Black woman be ready to stand up for your Barack and work shoulder to shoulder. Black woman be ready to be your Barack’s extra eyes and ears, be ready to do your very best towards your Barack so that he is on point. Black Woman if you want a Barack, please leave sexuality in the bedroom and maintain intimacy and respect in the eyes of the world. Black Woman please be ready to be that rib of Adam - so that your Barack says: "Finally!"

                      To the black man and black woman – if you want success be ready to sacrifice.

Black Single Motherhood Mystique – Fascination in Hollywood at a Very High Price

I am a single, successful black mother and damn proud of it. I have observed a familiar trend demonstrated repeatedly by society as far as ‘understanding’ black motherhood. For hundreds of years black women provided the manpower and nursed the babies as slaves who built this country. For all the uterine contributions of the black slave woman, America has never acknowledged this fact as an asset.


In film we see an Oscar awarded to Halle Berry in ‘Monster’s Ball.’ Ms. Berry plays a black mother who physically and verbally abuses her son who is overweight. Halle’s disdain for her son was evident. Berry’s role portrayed black mothers as being dysfunctional. We will never forget Ms. Berry giving Bill Bob Thornton fellacio – or the very explicit sex scenes, where Berry wanted to “Feel Again!” Ms. Berry is a black single mother in “Losing Isaiah” in 1995; this film was about black motherhood empowerment, and Oscar worthy.

Mr. Lee Daniels directed Ms. Berry in “Monster’s Ball”; “Precious”, a new film released November 2009 is another film on single black motherhood, also directed by Mr. Daniels. I clamored to see this film; I was inspired after reading Push by Sapphire twice. Sapphire wrote Push in 1996, a brutal look into black single motherhood. At the same time, Push is empowering as Precious learns to read and write; her world changes. This movie is supported by both Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry’s production companies. I was one of seven blacks in a predominately white audience at the Jacob Burns Film Center.

I also had the opportunity to meet Mr. Daniels, an African American gay man who was also raised by a single mother. Mr. Daniels’ father died leaving Lee’s mother to raise the children with Lee being the oldest at age 12 and recalls physical abuse in his home while growing up. I was able to garner information listening to Mr. Daniels speak in his bemused awe of his success:

• “Hollywood does not want to see these kinds of films up here on screen. I shot this movie and I was ready for it to go straight to DVD.”

• “Push the novel is very sexual – I had to watch what I used from the book, otherwise the movie would have never been shown.”

• “I got a call from Oprah because Tyler Perry called her. She asked me: ‘What can we do to help you?’”

• “I have been after Sapphire for years to let me do her book as a film.”

• “Racism is over in America.”

I thought about the book Push – I read it twice. Society does ‘push’ our black students to the side. Precious believed she was doing well in school despite having a reading level below second grade. Precious stated: “I got an A in my class for just sitting there and keeping my mouth shut.” Precious could not open her math textbook because she could not read the page numbers. She passed that class also.

Daniels referred to Push as being very sexual (it is); he could not put the intense sex in the film otherwise, it would not have been shown. I can still visualize Berry’s sex scenes with Thornton in “Monster’s Ball.”

Daniels stated: “Hollywood does not want to see this kind of film” On the contrary, I was one of seven blacks in an all white audience that voyeuristically pulled back the curtain of the black family and avidly watched a single black mother abuse, neglect and destroy her child. I do see Hollywood’s acceptance; I do see every white person who left that theatre after viewing this film believing they ‘know’ black families. I do believe the impact of this film places black single motherhood with a negative distinction of being permanently dysfunctional.

There have been other movies made showing empowerment in white single motherhood: Norma Rae, Mask, Erin Brockovich and Silkwood. There are also a few movies made showing black motherhood empowerment, although this message is not direct, but oblique. “A Secret Life of Bees and American Violet”, which show black mothers as head of household in a home that, is stable and nurturing with feminine unity. These films go by silently and receive almost no publicity, no celebrity endorsements and are challenging to see in a theatre or to own once released as a DVD.

“American Violet” was shown in a limited amount of theatres - a film about the unjust law system: a black single mother almost loses her life and her children by being falsely accused and pressured to plea bargain – a very lucrative business in the USA. This empowered single black mother was brutally judged by white men – representing society about her having multiple children for different men – no husband. The very same act black women were forced to do under slavery.

Black motherhood is not always in a state of dysfunction. There are many black single mothers both past and present that have successfully raised their children – Mr. Daniels is one of them. Many magazines have celebrity single mothers post articles and columns and yet the ‘average’ black single mother is invisible.

Go see the movie “Precious”; ask yourself about Push. How many films are made depicting black mother empowerment and success? The message is very clear: it’s hypocrisy to all of the self esteem building programs for girls of color when Hollywood only shows black women portrayed as being dysfunctional. Daniels said racism in America is over, I don’t believe it is. Mr. Daniels is very talented at what he does but is black single motherhood the sacrificial lamb of cinema projects? The fallout from the fascination of viewing black motherhood as being dysfunctional is a high price to pay – Is the little gold statue is worth it?

©Lion’s Way, Inc. 2009

The Making of a Drug Addict

The Making of a Drug Addict
By Denise Bolds, MSW August 2, 2009
Pharmaceutical drug addiction is not just ascribed to the wealthy and affluent; in fact anyone whom a medical physician writes a prescription for is susceptible. This slippery slope on impropriety is justified by over nine years of college medical education and residency, and by the FDA. Just how accessible are prescribed medications anyway?

One day, I was talking with my neighbor, a college educated woman. I confessed to her that I have been having trouble sleeping. I even looked like I was sleep depraved. My neighbor in her innocence replied: “I have just the thing for you!” She went into her purse and took out a small brown bottle. My neighbor placed a small pill into the palm of my hand; it was smaller than a tic-tac and had a very light peach color. “Take this tonight before going to bed” she instructed “Make sure you can sleep for 8 hours uninterrupted, so turn off your phone – this will put you to sleep and you will feel great after having a good sleep!” My neighbor in all of her benevolent innocence did what millions of other people do: give that helpful little pill to someone else – my neighbor did not ask me if I had any medical conditions or allergies to medications, she did not instruct me not to have any alcohol with this cute little pill – she just gave me some ‘help’ and ADVISED ME TO TURN OFF MY PHONE.

Suppose I did take the pill (I did not, in fact I still have it to this very day) I am a medical nightmare – I am allergic to everything, from tetanus to penicillin and the list grows every year I get older. I have no way of knowing if I am allergic to Ambien or Luniestra; by turning off the phone, family nor friends could not wake me up with an annoying ringing telephone - sounds like a deadly scenario for sure.

The ‘abuse’ of pharmaceuticals occurs thousands of times a day and with the health care crisis resulting in over14 million people in America without health care coverage; you can bet pills are being circulated faster than a twitter on a cell phone. As a medical social worker I have witnessed the extent of Rx addiction – more subtle than Matt Dillon in Drug Store Cowboy. (Which EVERYONE should watch…). Millions upon millions of Americans are addicted to pharmaceutical drugs and there is no relief in sight.

Injuries, surgery and medical complications that are 10, 15, 25 years old are STILL being treated with Vicodin, Oxycodone, Dilaudid, Tylenol #3, Percocet and so on. The American Medical Association (AMA) and the FDA (Food & Drug Administration) produces weak outreach in educating about the high incidents of addiction and medical complications of pain killers. Pain killers kill the pain by killing the body the pain is in. Pain killers block pain receptors – also blocks the body’s ability to respond to respiration and functioning as a whole – EVERYTHING slows down with utilizing pain killers, all metabolic action and respiration as well as eating. There is a loss of appetite, breathing/respiration decreases resulting in fluid accumulating in the lungs, there is a massive absorption of water as a result of taking pain killers, constipation occurs. This waste cannot be eliminated properly so the body becomes toxic and sluggish. All of the things necessary to promote healing after surgery or injury are thrown out of the window. You won’t eat well, eliminate waste well, ambulate well, healing is prolonged and other complications can result. Pain killers and muscle relaxants disorient, sedate and slow body responses. These pills are taken by mothers, machine operators, drivers, teachers, police officers, air pilots, and more resulting in reduced judgment ability, decreased quick responses as well as being lucid – all compromised by a pill.

These medications are highly addictive as indicative by both the AMA and FDA, but these pills are still dispensed at 30-60-90 pills at a time. American health care system has become so Rx dependant that Workman’s Compensation and Social Security Disability all rely upon Rx records to validate how ill or injured a person really is.

The body processes pain as the result of surgery or injury – alerting the brain - too much pain places the body in distress. Remember that surgery, fracture, tooth extraction or sprain does heal – the body does heal. The claim is that you may not be at 100% prior to injury, accidents or surgery – you were not 100% anyway – if you were, you would not need that above. The goal is to have a patient at 100% is totally deceptive and not natural. Every day, the human body ages and dies off; cells at a time. An 89 year old is not at 100% after all he is 89 years old.

Pharmaceuticals are not just regarded to pain, many co morbidities such as hypertension, diabetes , seizure disorders and more require Rx intervention have reactions that are detrimental to being healthy: visual impairment, loss of appetite, insomnia, depression, decreased libido and the most prevalent – obesity!

Americans have been fighting the fat for decades. Many Americans are overweight not because of lifestyle but because of a prescribed medication. It is a double edged sword for many who fight diabetes yet the very insulin prescribed has a counter indication of weight gain. Mental health diagnoses that require Rx maintenance also face this deadly dilemma: many of the very same prescribed medications recommended by physicians have a negative outcome – weight gain. The remedy for weight loss – take another pill!

So why is it that the AMA & FDA continue to support the dispensing of these high addictive mediations that often have serious side effects? Many health care professionals will attest to the belief that “The reaction is milder than the disease itself.” My question: for how long? A diabetic of 20 years relies upon insulin management puts on an average weight gain of 7 pounds a year – a weight gain of 140 pounds from Rx alone – not including weight gain from age, genetic pre-dispositioning or any other co morbidity. There have been investigations in pharmaceutical research that has generated warnings of taking these drugs: For example, OxyContin, a drug used to control pain has been deemed highly addictive and the company, Perdue Pharma LP and its executives have all been charged and prosecuted for “Unleashing a highly abusable, addictive and potentially dangerous drug on an unsuspecting, unknowing public.” Perdue Pharma LP has been ordered to pay $634.5 million in fines for knowingly promoting this highly addictive drug in 2007. (S. Lindsey Associated Press, May 2007).

How can this be stopped? Educate the patient. Pain is a normal body process and cannot be totally diminished. Childbirth and labor is a natural process and yet as soon as a mother leans she is pregnant, she is immediately developing her birth plan to be pain free with lots of pain medication during delivery and yet she wants a healthy baby. Can the research be correlated to the increase in ADD/AHD children in the past 20 years is related to the mother’s use of drugs during delivery? Pain Management is a proactive as well as reactive process. We must educate on the levels of pain and its relationship within the body. We must also embrace that this not a pain free world. Is the pharmaceutical presence in western medicine a systematic dependence that results in profit and job security? That is a question that must be answered. Are the benefits out weighing the risks? How many friends and family are dying from complications of treatment (medications) rather than the actual disease itself?