Doula Bag

Denise Bolds MSW CD(DONA)

January 11, 2018

Many new and seasoned doulas often feel the weight of the ‘should’ and ‘could’ of being a doula. One ongoing query of angst among doulas: “The must haves for the doula bag.”

Doulas have a bag of special support tools they use with their skill set of comfort techniques for a person in labor. Everything from rebozos to squeeze balls to chapsticks. All too frequently, I am asked: ‘Denise, what do you have in your doula bag?’

My doula bag are two bags: a tote with my comfort items, and a larger bag with a yoga mat, bolsters and birth ball. My comfort items range from sleep mask to honey sticks, a shower cap, a change of socks and underwear for myself. I also carry a bluetooth speaker and an electric oil diffuser so Mom can use scented oils. One of my clients calls me “Doula Poppins” after the character Mary Poppins. My bag often grows, then I purge it out.

December, 2016 winter solstice night, I went to support a birth of a first time mom. Upon my arrival at her home, I observed Mom’s labor progressing very well, and quickly. All of a sudden, meconium went everywhere! Mom was now grunting in her contractions; she was ready to push. I immediately informed her husband we had to leave immediately for the hospital, I cleaned up my laboring client quickly. In the darkest, longest winter night of the year we flew down side roads making to the hospital with Mom making ‘horse lips’ all the way!

In no time, we parked in the emergency room parking lot. I jumped out of my car in a run to support my client with a wheelchair. In my haste, I left my doula bags behind. Upstairs, my client was triaged, her baby flipped during a contraction and was now birthing breech. Her contractions were so intense, the nursing staff could not get her vein to start an IV. The birthing room was a flurry of people. I knew in order for her to do well with her birth, she had to focus. I had to pull her back into focus.

I turned my laboring client’s focus solely upon me while her husband answered questions necessary to admit her. I talked my client down from the high perch of instability and chaos she was quickly heading towards. With my voice, my presence, my focus, my confidence, I was able to calm her. I did Reki upon her by placing my hands over her heart while focusing my thoughts on the most calm, beautiful sunny day on the beach… as a result, she released enough tension,  the nurse was able to start an IV.  Her baby boy was born; in an amazing birth. This all occurred less than an hour from door to door, without my two doula bags. You are wondering what’s my point?

Many doulas are so focused upon props in the doula profession; a marketing mania they believe is a must have to grow business. In actuality, all a doula really needs is him/herself. To possess a belief they can empower, they can be of service of support to another without infringing upon clinical boundaries, without devaluing the practice and without their doula bag.

The doula bag is more for the doula than it is for the client. Think of Linus and his blanket, the security it gives him. What does the doula bag do for the doula?

Doulas, here’s the take-away: you don’t always need a bag of items and props to support a birth. Of course its nice and fun to have. At the end of the day, all a laboring person need is you; your confidence, your compassion, your respect, your intuition, your truth that you are here for them. Don’t become so caught up in the ‘should’ of the doula practice that you forget why you are a doula. There have been births I supported where I never had an opportunity to open my doula bags at a birth; it was awesome. 

Doula, I dare you to attend a birth with just yourself and your pocketbook. Watch what happens. Notice your heightened intuition and ingenuity. Can you recall a birth where you didn't have time to open your doula bag? What was that birth like? How was your support?  What’s in your doula bag? Who is it for? You or your client?

No, I have not given birth. 

Yes, I’m one hell of a doula!

Denise Bolds MSW, CD(DONA) October 4, 2017

Yes, I did have a baby vaginally and three miscarriages. I gave birth to my son 27 years ago; a natural birth with no interventions. It took me two days to do it. What does this mean to you, the pregnant person seeking a doula to support your birth? Not a darn thing.

Our society is based upon categories; 'cubicles' of characteristics that separate and designate. This same designation runs rampant in childbirth: from ‘geriatric’ pregnancy to prima; there are tons of 'cubicles' in childbirth. As a certified birth doula, I am asked a common question of prospective clients; “Have you given birth?”

I’m very proud of my accomplishment of being a successful black single mother. 27 years ago, I wanted a natural birth, breastfeed my baby and use cloth diapers. I didn’t have a birth doula; I had an awesome midwife and my mom helping me through my labor. I ended up with birth trauma and postpartum depression. When a prospective client asks me of my birth status, the client feels this is relative and for them it is; here’s something else to consider.

I know many experienced, excellent doulas who have not given birth and probably never will. I also know OB/GYN’s who have not given birth either. I wonder if pregnant people ask OB/GYN’s and midwives if they have ever given birth? Probably not, especially the male ones! ;)

Here’s a way out of that 'cubicle mindset'…

Does an Oncologist have to have cancer to be a great practitioner of treating cancer? What about Cardiologists and other medical specialists? Does an Orthopedist have to have broken bones or a hip/knee replacement in order to be a great practitioner? Do you see where I’m going with this?

Many doulas have given birth, many of those doulas have experienced a negative birth experience of their own = birth trauma, if left untreated, unaddressed or unrecognized turns into transference. Transference is the redirection of a feeling a person has experienced onto another person.

There’s a possibility that a birth worker can project their experiences upon your current event of pregnancy/birth. I made sure my birth experience 27 years ago was healed and does not transfer onto my work as a birth doula. For me, being a certified birth doula is not about me, but about my client(s), their partner(s), families and communities. My ego is not present, what is present are compassion, courage and common sense. Yes, birth work commands courage.

When seeking to secure doula support, giving birth doesn’t guarantee a good doula or even a great one. Instead, inquire about the doula’s passion, education, and courage in challenging birth situations! I wrote this blog in recognition of all of my doula peers who have not given birth; one awesome doula who is one of my mentors is childless; I would have her at my birth if I were seeking doula support. Not only is she wise, compassionate and fearless; she's one of the smartest doulas I know.

At the end of the day, it’s the birth giver’s choice of which doula bests fits the birth they are working towards. The 'cubicle' mentality in birth work begins and ends with us. 

The Angry White Woman

The Angry White Woman

Denise Bolds, MSW

April 20, 2017

Move Rosa Parks, in fact, get up out of that seat. The seat: the ‘Angry Black Woman seat.  Mother’s of The Mayflower sink the ship in protest. June Cleaver, Wilma Flintstone and Lucy Ricardo poison the pot roast, while Carol Brady locks Mike Brady out of the bedroom. Saturday Night Live is the news. White women in America are angry, I can see why. If I were a white woman in America today, I’d be pretty pissed too.

Currently, this is an amplification of Women’s Rights, historically hitched onto Civil Rights. With the recent election of the 45th President of the United States of America, white women have a new four-letter word: foul. It wasn't enough that Presidential Candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton had her presidency snatched on national television like a weave… that’s nothing compared to what’s going on…

White women in America are pissed; having to wear funny little uterus hats branding their contributions reminding America of their value. Ellen Degeneres is out and hosting a very successful talk show; there are more female directors making movies in Hollywood and equal pay made it to the White House. So why are white women angry?

For starters, male politicians can’t keep their fingers out of women’s vaginas. Every year, every election Planned Parenthood is the target of threats of funding cuts; birth-control pills are still not covered by many health insurances; but Viagra is. Women are still being abused in domestic violence; the 45th President signed off on a policy allowing individual states to have their own laws on domestic violence. White women are still facing traumatic birth outcomes and are still wrangling maternal health from the male-dominated medial profession as Cesarean Sections increase. There is still shame directed at women for breastfeeding in public. Recently, a white senator was quoted saying women are ‘milking maternity leave and benefits.’ He’s never dilated his penis to 10 centimeters and giving birth.

The white man has completely forgotten where he came from, the white woman’s womb, fed from her white breasts, or historically, breasts of  black female slaves. The question now resonates through many minds of the current leadership of America: “Is this the best of white America?” Time to drain that petri dish in the in-vitro lab. Time to think about the outcome before having sex with the really cute first cousin…

Hillary Rodham Clinton’s presidential run; was riddled with bullying, false propaganda, and blatant turn-a-blind-eye on actions Mrs.Clinton was persecuted for, while her male counterparts currently in the White House are not. Clinton’s republican opponent threatened her, called her a liar and the American people went right along with his menacing antics. It’s a sad country when a white female with over 30 years of political service is passed over for presidency by a white man with multiple wives, bankruptcies and a petulance for ‘grabbing pussy.’ Mrs. Clinton possesses a JD in law, served as a Senator (NY), Secretary of State (USA) and was First Wife; America instead chose a man with no law experience, hasn't paid his taxes in twenty years, and has made the most disgusting statements against the disabled, veterans and immigrants in a political campaign. Ever. Let’s not forget his weekly trips to Mar-A-Largo for golf at the cost of millions of American tax dollars. Is America that against having a white woman as President?

Melania Trump was a ‘model’ before becoming wife #3. Her photographs are more pin-up pornography than marketing. Not only did she plagiarize FLOTUS Michelle Obama’s speech, she stole Jackie Kennedy’s style of dressing for the inauguration. Her husband, the new president elect left her at the bottom of the stairs as he zipped up to greet former President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama for all the world to see, post inauguration. What an image: newly elected president at the top of the stairs with the former President and First Lady looking down at the white woman at the foot of the stairs. Oh yeah, white women are angry. 

The current elected 45th president has appointed two white women as part of his cabinet: Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos and Kellyanne Conway, Counselor to the President. Both women are the ‘epitome’ of white women: one believes guns should be in schools to kill any bears in them; the other likes to straddle couches in the Oval Office, complete with her legs spread in a room full of men. Was this business or prelude to a lap dance? America has seen some of the most intelligent white women in politics and business, yet the presidential cabinet choses the complete opposite; ignorant and incompetent, not to mention poor fashion sense. Yep white women, try explaining this to your daughters… Luckily, the media has given the world a break on airing anything from DeVos and Conway; everyone is too busy watching the current presidency remix of ‘Dumb and Dumber’.

I could go on, but there’s just too much, I am a black woman, I just relinquished my anger for a new emotion, intention. White women, you should be angry; little white girls and teens growing up under this presidency see white women ‘role models’ of nude photos, lack of education with blatant ignorance is what it takes for a white woman to get into the White House. Forget modesty and decorum, forget the ‘Feminine Mystique’, forget good breeding, forget going to college and obtaining higher education. White women tried and failed at being snarky. America laughed at the buffoonery of Sarah Palin only to now realize it was a foreshadowing of what was to come…

White women, your white men left you at the bottom of the stairs; The Statue of Liberty takes one for the team for the last time; Rosie the Riveter is off having plastic surgery in the Dominican Republic. White woman, you are now sitting in the ‘angry seat’ black women were given for over a hundred years. What explanation do you have to offer your daughters or yourselves? It will be interesting to see white women at the next level: Sick and tired of being sick and tired…  

It’s clearly obvious, America doesn't want Betsy Ross, instead America chooses Ginger from Gilligan’s Island; dumb and hyper sexualized. Yeah, if I were a while woman in America, I’d be pretty pissed too. Here white woman, take my seat. I’m going to go and meditate… Hell hath no fury like a white woman’s scorn. Now, close your eyes and picture the little girl facing the mammoth Bull of Wall Street…

1

Be The ONE. In The ONE.

By Denise Bolds, MSW CD(DONA)

January 19, 2017

Numerology, a powerful tool used in understanding our true self; the relationship we currently exist within. Numerology fascinates me; an African American, my mother tongue was stripped away from my ancestors and consequently myself. Numerology is a language all of its own.

2017 broken down: 2 + 0 + 1 + 7 =  10         1 + 0 = 1

2017 is the year of the ONE. This is the year to Be The ONE.  I am born a 1: my birth time is 10:46 AM equals 1.  My birthdate, August 18, 1964 adds up: 8+1+8+1+9+6+4 is 1.  I am an only child who gave birth to an only child. My destiny is to be The ONE. What does that mean exactly?

From a spiritual perspective, one is the number of creation, the primal force from which all other numbers spring forth (as opposed to the often quoted zero from which, by definition, nothing could possibly come into being).

The 1 is a doer, a powerful force that produces results and does not allow anything or anyone to limit its potential. The 1 is aggressive, a necessary energy for creating and producing. The 1 is always in the forefront: a spearpoint directing and leading others. The shape of the number 1, just like the shape of all other symbols, reflects its meaning; it walks upright with pride and purpose. Strong, determined, unwavering and with specific goals in mind, the 1 can turn dreams and ideas into reality. It pushes obstacles aside or simply drills right through them.

The 1 tends to have a simple, straightforward view of life and its many complexities. It trusts its own ability to separate right from wrong. It doesn't waste time on abstract ideas or anything else that isn't in line with its pursuit of results. The 1 is no preacher, no philosopher, no spiritual explorer, no dreamer and certainly not an idealist. It is a pragmatist, a ruthless conqueror and a warrior extraordinaire. It is individualistic and independent to a fault.

The 1 does not hesitate when it senses a need for confrontation. It is jealous and extremely stubborn, but also courageous and willing to try anything new if it sees promise, even at great danger. It is, if you haven't guessed, the most masculine of all numbers. There is a certain quality, a sense of honor and responsibility that demands our respect, and it has a sense of justice that cannot be denied. The number 1 cannot witness injustice without jumping in and setting things straight.

Its purity of purpose is an admirable quality of the number 1. It sees things for what they are and hypocrisy doesn't stand a chance. Befriend a 1 and you have a friend for life. You can poke fun at a 1 and not have to worry about hurt feelings. A 1 has a great capacity for humor, including the self-deprecating kind. 

(http://www.numerology.com/numerology-numbers/1)

Spinning Babies Conference 2016, Gail Tully shared some wisdom with a room full of birth workers. In the year of 9 which was 2016, Gail prepared us with her wisdom for the one…

In 2017 women and birth work embrace a new path, take the lead in pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding; the holistic maternity is at a precipice of regeneration. The One is awake and aware. The One moves away from what no longer works, is not capitalistic nor remain hidden in untruths and doubt. Our God is The One (I AM) we are made in the image of God, we are spirits having a human experience; the One begins with you.

Dr. Cornel West at Marist College October 2015: “My phone is smart… I want to be wise!”

Gail Tully introduced questions promoting The One, the leader, the game changer, the successful doer:

• What positive behavior will I start to do this week?
• Who are the three people who can help me?
• Who will help me celebrate?
• Who is the most curious for birth work?
• What behavior of my own do I decide to stop doing now?
• What behavior can I do to continue to improve the community of birth?
• What behavior of my own do I want to continue in birth work?
• What behavior of my own do I want to let go of that no longer supports me in my birth work practice?

By now I am hearing India Arie’s song “The One” and Yes “Going For The One” blasting in my head…

We are all not born into the number one. We all can make that jump to know, understand, relate, communicate and support that one - ourselves.  We bear witness to the statistics, evidence base and blogs on birth work. There is work to be done by all of us. 

The next four years will test, push, pull, grab, shift, ignite, and grow birth work as the world will change by January 20, 2017 as we know it. The agitation has begun; take it as a sign of renewal. Be ready to educate, advocate, donate, break through the gates of separation. Be the 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9… in the Year of The One. Be the One to put birth where it belongs; with women and humanity. The date of this blog is very powerful: January 19, 2017 (month, date and year are all ONE). There are no accidents, everything happens for a reason. Everything is preordained; know thyself! Be ONE in the Year of The ONE!

Doula Bag

Denise Bolds MSW, CD(DONA)

January 9, 2017

It’s a new year; 12 months of births, breasts, trainings, blogs and communications on social media. I’ve been in the doula world for over 2 years now; I possess a master’s degree in social work; I am still learning about my practice and myself as a doula. Many new doulas and seasoned doulas come to me and ask for advice and guidance. These wonderful women often feel the weight of the ‘should’ and ‘could’ resulting in some of the most, harsh and combative scenarios I have ever witnessed from my own gender. One ongoing query of angst among doulas: the doula bag. There are numerous articles on: “The must haves for the doula bag.”

Many doulas have a bag of special support tools they use with their skills in comfort techniques for a woman in labor. Everything from rebozos to squeeze balls. All too frequently, I am asked: ‘What do you have in your doula bag Denise?’

In response, my doula bag are two bags: a tote with my comfort items and a larger bag with a yoga mat, bolsters, birth ball and a peanut or two. My comfort items range from sleep mask to honey sticks to a change of socks and underwear for myself. I also carry a bluetooth speaker and an electric diffuser so mom can use her scented oils. Sometimes I feel as though I am Mary Poppins. 

December, 2016 winter solstice night, I was called to support a birth of a first time mom. Upon my arrival at her home, I witnessed mom’s labor going very well, and quickly. On her second trip to the bathroom, I accompanied her; she was in her labor zone, I didn't want to leave her unattended. As she pulled down her pants, meconium went everywhere! Mom was now grunting in her contractions, she was getting ready to push. I immediately informed the husband we had to leave for the hospital immediately, I cleaned up my laboring client quickly and explained what we must do; we got to the hospital in the darkest of night.

There was no time, we parked in the emergency room parking lot. I jumped out of my car running to support my client inside to a wheelchair. In my haste, I left my two doula bags behind. Upstairs, my client was evaluated, her baby had flipped and was now breech. Her contractions were so intense, the nursing staff could not get a vein to start an IV. My client’s birthing room was a flurry of clinical staff, obstetrician, anesthesiologist, midwife, the husband and myself. While everyone was as calm and professional as possible, an aura of urgency was dominating. My client had begun to take in some of this energy, I knew in order for her to do well with her birth, she had to focus.

I turned my laboring client focus solely upon me, my eyes and my voice while her husband answered the questions needed for admitting. I talked my client down from the high perch of instability she was heading towards. With my voice, my presence, my focus, my confidence I was able to calm her. I did Reki on her by placing my hands over her heart focusing my thoughts on the most calm, beautiful sunny day on the beach… as a result of her releasing her tension, the nurse was able to start an IV with a Hep-Loc.  I kept my client calm with her focus upon me while the clinical staff worked on her birth.

Her baby boy was born; it was an amazing birth. All of this occurred less than two hours, without my two doula bags. You are wondering what is my point?

Many doulas are so focused upon the props in the profession, all the attachments to grow their business. Most times all a doula really needs is herself. To possess a belief in herself she can empower, she can be of service and support to another without infringing upon clinical boundaries, without devaluing her work and without her doula bag.

There are times when I do have my two doula bags and I still am in need of something. Laboring at home with another client, I had her use the bathtub for hydrotherapy. The tub stopper wasn't working well, I had nothing in my bag for this.  I went to her kitchen and found a rubber jar opener to use in the tub to stop the water leaking out. I had to use my wits and improvise.  At that moment, it was about the client, not me. The doula bag is more for the doula than it is for the client.

Doulas, here’s the take-away: you do not always need a bag of items and props to support a client. Of course its nice and fun to have. At the end of the day, all a laboring woman need is you; your confidence, your compassion, your respect, your intuition, your truth that you are here for her. Don’t become so caught up in the ‘should’ in the doula world that you forget why you are a doula; because your heart calls you, because you come from an ancestry of empowerment, because you believe in what you are providing. 

I am a certified doula, I’m proud of what I do. I remain humble to witness a miracle called birth as part of my job. Each birth brings me to trust more deeply in myself, my confidence and my truth; there’s no outside bag that can hold this - only me, myself and I hold and carry these attributes. 

I still have my bags I support women with in my doula practice. There will be another time when I will not have my two bags with me; I will support my client just as well as if they were with me because of what I carry within. What’s in your doula bag? Who is it for?

Black Birth Worker, Where Art Thou? 

Denise Bolds MSW, CD(DONA)

November 15, 2016

There is homogenous whiteness in birth work. Repeatedly, I’ve stated the obvious disparity in the lack of diversity in birth work and birth justice. Only until a recent conference I attended shed some light on the absent black birth worker.

We know the statistics in regarding child birth in America for black mothers and their babies. The same paradigm applies to black birth workers across the board: physicians, nurses, midwives, doulas, lactations counselors; we are as rare as sighting a white buffalo. There’s a reason for all of this; a gross method to the madness. Black birth worker, where art thou?

Yes, I am usually the only African American - black woman in the room - again. I don't mind; I make a point to be a presence in being a league one; to put black on the map, to have a black sit at the table of birth work. It’s grueling, thankless work: being the only one most of the time. There are requirements in being the only one: possess the hide of a rhino while undoing the invisible projection that is put upon myself and the race I represent only to spend most of my time refuting every stereotype imaginable in being black once I am visible.

Hear that sound from a distance? It’s the collective groan from the few black women who are almost always the only black in the room. Just why in the heck is that actually?

I thought it was due to lack of inclusiveness; I realize there are many groups who do welcome diversity. I thought it was economics; many birth workers of color simply cannot afford being a birth worker; it is a proven fact whites earn more than people of color and culture. It was pointed out to me many opportunities for continuing education activities are offered in the form of scholarships opening the door for black birth workers to attend. 

Why in the heck am I still the only one in the room?

Black women, black birth workers are simply not showing up. Even with scholarships and the one other black birth worker in the room, black birth workers remain a rare sighting in mainstream birth work continuing education. Avoidance is not solidarity, its isolation, invisibility and it perpetuates this behavior on a continuum. The ramification is brazenly apparent in the birth room and L&D departments.

Zora Neale Hurston said: “If you are silent about your pain, they'll kill you and say you enjoyed it.” Black birth worker, if you remain silent and absent as a birth worker from activities of birth work, don’t expect others to hold a space for you the black birth worker. It’s time for black birth workers to be present while holding these spaces themselves and for one another. Be willing to be the change agent. Be willing to ask that question of diversity in a homogenous environment and promote change. It is possible with a single query.

I know what you're thinking…

Can’t afford that training? Plan ahead, use your income tax refund to reinvest into your birth business, do a fundraiser amongst family, ask for it as a birthday or holiday gift. Or better yet, call the facilitator of the workshop and work out a discount or barter. Don’t enjoy speaking in public? write down your questions before hand. See that other black birth worker also attending the same event as you? Please go over and introduce yourself. Our ancestors showed solidarity; you don't have to sleep with this person, just show your solidarity and break the chain of personal silos. It is unfortunately assumed by other cultures that every black person in the world knows every other black person they encounter. It’s time to whip out that solidarity lip gloss, put some on and go and meet that other sister in the room as you, and for heaven sakes smile and rejoice in your greeting! I try my best to always greet and introduce myself to the women of color and culture at every event I attend.

Think you can’t learn something or glean knowledge being the only black in the room? Unless it’s a Klan meeting; you are bound to encounter something you didn't know. A lack of diversity doesn't always mean a lack of knowledge; the knowledge that’s present is not diversified and would fare better if it were. For example, just because Spinning Babies is taught by a white trainer doesn't mean you a woman of color and culture cannot attend this training and bring this valuable knowledge and skills back to your community, your peers of color and culture and put a diverse and cultural spin on it! I didn't earn a black college degree, I didn't earn a white college degree; I earned a college degree. Period.

It’s All In The Know How…

Sitting back and waiting for that velum embossed invitation with your name on it is not going to happen. You have to make it happen. In order to grow your business, you must invest in your business and your skill as a birth worker. What you were able to glean from your doula training is only a small sample of the knowledge that is out in the birth work world. Go get it. Make a plan every year of the one training you want as part of your skill set. Save for it, plan your births, childcare, husband care, and  dog care around it and be there. It’s irreverent if it’s all white or Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs show up. What’s important is you are there with your inherent diversity into the environment; you are bringing the knowledge and skills back to your community where you may host future training opportunity for the birth workers in your area. All because you made the effort and a presence. Be ready with your query that is diverse and relative. Greet the other sister in the room and watch the solidarity blossom. There are so many more birth workers of color and culture that are doing amazing work that I have to find and meet. I’m on the hunt and I will find you. Please, find me.

Millions Strong Spaning The World...

This is what our ancestors have done for centuries under oppression and segregation. The need for diversity and cultural awakening is now. Our ancestors sacrificed they were the bodies reproductive medical science of today is built upon. Having an article in a featured black magazine every four years or so is not enough awareness. Get out of those silos of societal expectation and marginalizing, remember America is built from the wombs of black women. Black women know birth, do birth and are birth. Black birth worker, where art thou? I’m looking for you. Do you see me? Let’s find each other and unify! 

Black unification makes the world take notice! Never forget our ancestors coming across oceans packed and stacked in slave ships; their sacrifice so great, their bodies thrown overboard changed the migration pattern of sharks who fed upon their bodies. Never forget that bridge of spirit that connects us. The next time a white person asks me if I know the other black person in the room, my response is going to be epic! I think they are really onto something… If we don't know one another before, we should and we do now! 

Beyonce, Dixie Chicks & Birth Work.

Beyonce, Dixie Chicks & Birth Work.

Denise Bolds, MSW CD(DONA) November 8, 2016

My favorite event/video of this year is the 2016 Country Music Awards 50th Anniversary; a unique performance by Beyonce and the Dixie Chicks preforming Beyonce’s song ‘Daddy Lessons.’ The song is very country, sung by a native Texan and accompanied by nationally recognized musicians who are white. Beyonce is proudly African American. The women gave an unforgettable performance that was also uber fun.

I watched this performance and I thought: ‘Wow! If only birth workers can do the same as these women have done.” After all, these four women are more alike than different: besides all being blonde, they are women, wives, sisters and mothers. These women are also daughters with daddies they sing about. All four women stood up and spoke out of the social and political dysfunction taking the backlash from society for being awake; they are pariahs, the Lilith. The she who will no conform, nor be stifled.

This unity was not welcomed by fans of country music, they incited so much negative backlash, the CMA was ‘forced’ to removed ALL mention of the above performance. Very similar to the Egyptians chipping off every mention of Queen Hatshepsut. Country music lovers and followers don’t understand early American history. The origin of country music begins with contribution and influence made by blacks.

As an African American and a certified birth doula, I witness first hand the frequent incidents involving race and culture discrimination to both patient and birth workers of color and culture. A baby is born every minute in this world, there’s more than enough work to go around and empowering women is not just at a birth. 

Imagine white and persons of color and culture in maternal health and birth work working together, harmonizing the same as Beyonce and the Dixie Chicks were able to do so succinctly and joyfully! This is not always the case in the arena of birth work with whites and those of color and culture; there are major disparities directed at both the patient and professional who are of color and culture. Lack of access, equality, representation, respect and transparency has resulted in the maternal health care/profession to be riddled with capitalism and racism guised in ethnocentrism.

Pushing aside all social and historical views, diversity of all races/cultures of womanhood, sisterhood and motherhood can and do work. Women’s Rights and Civil Rights were always wedded together. What is occurring now in America and the world; it is up to women, all women of all races, ethnicities and cultures to come together and sing the song of unity and empowerment in a lasting harmony that will impact future generations. Regardless of what society has ingrained and history has distorted, it is up to women to change birth from a diagnosis to a natural, supported sacred event to celebrate, not capitalize.