Saturday, October 15, 2016



Rebozo Me, Myself & I
Denise Bolds, MSW CD(DONA) October 1, 2016


I attended the Spinning Babies 2016 Confluence, I was gifted a Rebozo. I have known of Rebozo use in Latina women/culture for years. In birth work, it is especially present in it’s multifaceted use. In case you don't know, A rebozo is a long flat garment used mostly by women in Mexico. It can be worn in various ways, usually folded or wrapped around the head and/or upper body to shade from the sun, provide warmth and as an accessory to an outfit. It is also used to carry babies and large bundles, especially among indigenous women.

My rebozo gift is short, like I am. The woman who gave it to me, an experienced Mexican midwife Angelina, in her limited English told me “This one is short, it is for you.” I accepted the rebozo with both awe and gratitude. My rebozo, a plain cream color with a little orange and black stitching at the bottom is very unassuming.

Later, I took my rebozo into a rebozo class that Angelina taught. When it was time to practice rebozo techniques, my little rebozo fell short doing all the different techniques. A fellow doula laughed at my attempts, she stated: “It’s not gonna make it Denise.” I settled on observing. I looked longingly at the other rebozos, my instinct directed me to be content with what was given. I am.

My little rebozo made it back to New York, onto my shelf; suddenly I encountered it on my altar where I do my daily meditations and prayers. Things have been challenging for me; attending the Spinning Babies Confluence 2016 allowed me some space, with something extra as I draped my little rebozo around my shoulders, I began to pray. My rebozo soaked up my tears. As I clutched the sturdy fabric, the drape of my rebozo became a hug around me. It felt like same hug Gail Tully hugged me before I left Minnesota, she commanded me to “Hold on.” It’s the same hug I feel every night in my dreams; my ancestors hug me. It’s the same hug I get from Denise the little girl whenever I am troubled. It’s the same hug I get from my three babies I miscarried. I gripped my little rebozo fiercely as I released tears of spiritual growth. I don't know how long I sat at my altar with my rebozo. Time fell away.

The next day, there was my little rebozo, pristine and folded up on my prayer stool in front of my altar waiting for me. It look brand new, not ravaged after the night before of intense prayer and release. Every time I meditate, my little rebozo is with me. Over time when I need a hug or find my core, I tie my little rebozo tightly around my middle and wear it around the house. 


I don't know if Angelina knew how powerful the gift she gave me is, I do know I was meant to be at that specific place and time to receive it. My little rebozo is not for my birth clients, it is for me. I accept the self love this amazing gift represents gratefully.  There’s so much ability in this little cloth. My rebozo resembles me: short, powerful, resilient and grateful.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016



The Birth & Death Me
Denise Bolds MSW, CD(DONA)
October 11, 2016

I did something today that I didn't want to do. I put it off for long as I could. Because who I am I had to do it I had to go; my attendance matters. I got my ticket and I caught the matinee.  There was only four of us in the theater, we are all black. I was the only female. 

As the movie previews rolled by, I found myself becoming more and more tense. By the time the feature film rolls up - I am tighter than a drum. There’s no popcorn, no silly texts announcing to my friends what I am doing. This is not entertainment. This is not a fad. There will be no commercialized products in the stores for the holiday gifting frenzy.  I went to see “Birth of a Nation” today and I am a black woman in America.

“Birth of a Nation” is everything it is supposed to be; the spark of awareness. The visual abomination of humanity on replay. There’s no blackface white actor in a colorless and soundless film. This is real. This is my life. My ancestors. My dreams almost every night.

There’s no reference of my motherland, Africa. My heritage as many would like to believe began as a slave. I know better; so do my ancestors, so do many of you who are awake.

I see the beautiful black skin people whose eyes are high, bright and searching for the end to the nightmare that never ends. I watched as the cotton bloodied many hands. I now understand why my diabetic 75 year-old mother had such difficulty testing herself everyday with a finger prick; she picked thousands of pounds of cotton growing up in the South. Her daily finger sticks to keep her alive were a constant reminder of what she endured as a child of the South.

I held myself a little tighter in my seat as the film rolled on…

I watched the resiliency of my ancestors as they sang, and replicated art from their homeland. I watched as the epigenetic trauma was born; witnessing brutal acts of oppression, murder and rape that would mark my people for infinite future generations to come. Including myself.

Can I witness another slave film from Hollywood? 

I get the message of what has occurred and continues to occur to blacks in this country. I only have to close my eyes every night and dream. The brutality my ancestors endured I bear witness to; my ancestors are speaking to me there. They are always watching.

The visual abomination is replay. What is the pattern in Hollywood? Every two years or so, here comes another slave/race/black oppression film: “The Butler,” “12 Years A Slave,” “42,” and now “Birth of a Nation?”

I cannot be tired, I cannot complain. After all my ancestors endured slavery for over 400 years. I’m only 52. I’ve got 348 years of replay to go… So, I sat in my seat and did what my ancestors could not do. I looked at this film dead in the eye. I would not allow my eyes to downcast no matter what. Even though I am slowly dying as I bear witness.

Nate Parker’s story of Nat Turner told me what I already know. I wasn't always awake. I didn't wake up until I was in my late 20’s. I’ve been in a chronic state of inflammation ever since I woke up. Parker’s rendition is very good. However, he missed something very vital. He kindly and ignorantly removed the sex scenes from the film. Not one rape scene was shown. It was heavily implied in the film. That is a fallacy; sex and the black man, woman and child in America has always been draped in filth, force and fornication. The slave was naked while the whites were covered in silk, muslin and their entitlement.

My hands are shaking and I find myself holding my breath… But I’m alright. This is what I feel everyday…

There’s a hue and cry over how Trump stood behind Hillary Clinton during the last debate “In a menacing manor.” Try being a Black person. What Hillary endured for a few hours at most, is what  my ancestors and I experience everyday at any given time. No place is safe from the disease of racism in America, not even a church.

The movie ends. The four of us are somber, slowing moving towards the exit. A King of a man, a Jamaican named Andre begins speaking to me. He observes how there are no whites in the audience. He begins describing himself as not being able to continue to see films like this. Andre boldly confesses what I already know: Our black allegiance is slowly killing us blacks in a world of white denial, ignorance and unaccountability.

I agreed with this beautiful black man, my king. My kindred…


I do what so many of my ancestors and black woman today do when speaking with the black man; Outwardly I agree with him. Inwardly, I begin to plan.

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

The Spin Continues With Gail Tully
Denise Bolds MSW CD(DONA) October 4, 2016

My blog I wrote several days ago of my observations with Spinning Babies Confluence 2016 “Spinning While Black” resulted in agitation as well as tons of dialogue: exactly why Gail Tully invited me to the confluence and requested me to blog. She wanted the Bold and I gave her what she requested. Gail has tirelessly included many birth workers of color in her practice over the years and encountering the same outcome; Gail took a different ‘spin’ on this issue. Many readers immediately began defending Gail and Spinning Babies without fully reading and listening to what was being blogged. Yes, Gail Tully is an amazing person whom I am in awe of and proud to call a true friend. What I observed at Confluence 2016 has nothing to do with Gail Tully’s personal character; but with the paradigm of birth in the USA; a fact that many just don’t get.  I will blog more about this very soon.

I spoke with Gail post-blog; we had an awesome discussion and we both agreed there’s still so much work to be done, we will be on the front lines together. I suggest you read this slowly, more than once. Remember, a candle can burn at both ends…

It is my pleasure to post Gail Tully’s response to “Spinning While Black.” Gail sent her response to me via email, I have her consent to share it here:

2 October, 2016

Dear Denise,

I so enjoyed your presence at our conference. You contributed to the richness of the overall experience. May I say here how grateful I am that you hopped on a plane to come? 

I called and invited you to blog for the Spinning Babies 2016 World Confluence and I asked you to share your perspective and not to be held to a promotional approach. Birth organizations arising out of the white culture often have little representation of other cultures. Spinning Babies can also do better. 

I want to honor the birth and body workers of Color who have crossed cultural lines to attend Spinning Babies Workshops. I wasn’t just giving them something but each individual brought value themselves.
Fortunately, I can say that many African American Birth and Body Workers have shared enthusiasm, attended and used Spinning Babies to enhance their own creative birth solutions. I confidently stand by my efforts to invite and respect the African American birthing community. 
Let’s review my actions. I have enough sense to know questions about African American involvement in white culture cannot be answered by a white person. 
Our Speakers, Ms. Claudia Booker and Ms. Akhmiri Sekhr-Ra, and two invited speakers, Shafia Monroe and Nikki Plaskett, whose lives took other courses and they were unable to attend but whose initial affirmation offered much hope and direction in creating a safe place for Birth Workers of Color at the conference. I am humbled and honored. I worked closely with Ms. Claudia Booker, Master of Education, and Grand Challenge organizer, to offer an open and meaningful scholarship.  

I called and invited Birth Workers of Color locally and nationally.  
Seven African American leaders in the birth world hosted Spinning Babies Workshops. I spoke with them about becoming a Spinning Babies Approved Trainer. Five were possible candidates for the 2015 pilot group and two, as midwives with interest, had a very real potential, but found the expense and time away from successful birth businesses to be obstacles. 
Perhaps a note of interest to your readers is that Rebecca Polston, owner of Roots Community Birth Center, whom you mention in your post, Denise, consulted with us about the conference scholarship process. To share a bit of personal and community history, Rebecca attended prenatal appointments in my home for approximately a year with her preceptor, worked with me on The Resolving Shoulder Dystocia video, and refers parents to me when there are persisting questions of breech fetal positioning. She let me know she wasn’t coming to the conference but was able to stop in at the party. She greeted me warmly the next weekend at the Birth and Baby Expo in our Twin Cities.

Claudia Booker is my dear friend. In the US public health crisis of neonatal mortality and prematurity brought on by the stress of racism, she is my wise advisor. I am grateful for her involvement in this conference and in the next. She gave two dynamic talks and shaped the scholarship acceptance process and questionnaire. Our trust in one another is immense.  

What will Spinning Babies do to address inequities now? An equity statement is in process.

CNM, LaVonne Moore, active in both the Minnesota Cultural Birthworkers and Cultural Wellness Center, has invited me to come be with this amazing group for a local Spinning Babies Workshop. 

Plans for formalizing scholarship spots throughout the organization are in place. I have offered spots in my workshops since 1997.

Two things I would ask to mention here, Denise, is first I am grateful that participants from Mexico, Central America, and South America as well as Americans of Hispanic and Latina heritage, which were self-identifications offered in conversation. Some came expressly to be with Angelina Martinez Miranda. And second, a gift of great magnitude was the presence of five Native attendees and Akhmiri Skehr-Ra’s teaching partner, Millicent Simenson. 

Native babies die at rates multiplying those of any other race in the US and Canada. Pat Welch, founder of The Turtle Women said Native Peoples suffer an invisible genocide. That year, of every 1000 babies born, Minnesota whites lost 4, African Americans 9, and Native families lost 29 babies, out of every 1000. Please know in our descriptions of racial inequities, we will not brush off the 9 by remembering the 29.

My gratitude to you, Denise Bolds begins with your Bold stance. I’m also grateful for the presence and care of Tomesha Walker (not a relative of Denise’s, nor of Jennifer Walker’s), a self-acclaimed supporter like so many of your readers.  Claudia, Akhmiri, Tomesha and yourself are empowering African American birthing women with Spinning Babies. That you would have Spinning Babies in mind while giving your lives to overcoming disparities and inequities of maternity care in this country is humbling and empowering to me personally. 

Let us engage in a process to find how Birth and Body Workers of Color can extract value from Spinning Babies in ways that sustain integrity for their personal and cultural lives. 
With Much Hope For Continued Dialogue, 

Gail Tully

Saturday, October 1, 2016


Spinning While Black
Denise Bolds, MSW CD(DONA) September 29, 2016


I am birth worker, I am African American. I attended the Spinning Babies Confluence 2016 in Minnesota, where I witnessed first hand the lack of diversity in this event; there were more Latinas present than African Americans: 250 event attendees with less than 5 being African American. Founder of Spinning Babies Gail Tully, CPM asked me to blog what I observed and experienced. She requested that I be Bold…

Oh Say Can You See…

Observing the Spinning Babies Trainers on stage with founder Gail Tully, there’s a familiar sight: the blaring absence of African American trainers. It’s a common occurrence in the birth work paradigm: African American women are not at the table; we are designated spectators, the cheering squad and entertainers, rarely are we players.

Spinning Babies 2016 is noted as a Confluence. The word confluence is identified as a flowing together. In a literal sense, it's about rivers. But it's more often used to talk about the coming together of factors or ideas, or of cultures in a diverse city. Well, two out of three isn't bad. Minnesota is diverse and has culture in a strata that is separated.

Spinning Babies has been in existencefor over a decade, founder Gail Tully has travels the world teaching; in all her travels, hasn't Tully encountered any exceptional African American birth workers to train? This urgency (the lack of African American trainers) is so acute, Tully will have to make an exception and facilitate a training that doesn't fit into her traditional schedule. How much of a crisis is it? African Americans make up the highest negative statistics in infant mortality than any other ethnicity in the USA. Black babies can spin too and not just as a prop doll in a training. We have a First Lady of the United States: Michelle Obama who is African American, there has to be another exceptional black woman out here…

Show Me The Money!…. Got to Be There!

African Americans statistically make less than whites in earned income, it’s an evidenced based fact. Many blacks are challenged in becoming midwives and securing enhanced training such as Spinning Babies due economics… It is imperative for African Americans to understand the importance of the investment in enhanced training and investing in your practice. Make a pledge to attend one specific training in a year and get sponsors to get you there. Spinning Babies 2016 Confluence did in fact offer scholarships to African American attendees, not one showed up. I know what I said above, but its up to African Americans to make the jump into the homogenous waters of birth work. Your presence black birth worker does more than what is assumed.

It Makes Me Wonder…

Spinning Babies Confluence 2016 held in September which happens to be Infant Mortality Awareness Month, speaking with Gail and several of her trainers, they expressed wonderment as to why there weren't any more African American birth workers attending the 2016 Confluence. There are no Spinning Babies Trainers who are African American no presenters presenting upon data, community and visuals resembling African Americans; it’s not a simple endeavor to invest money and time in an event where African Americans are not represented in. How is it possible that Spinning Babies can have resources in the Philippines, Netherlands, Canada and now Brazil with no African American trainers in the United States of America in over 14 years of it’s existence?

Once again I was one of a few in a room of predominately white attendees. I know black women give birth; after all the USA was built off of the uteruses of black slaves. While Gail Tully and many at the SBC 2016 were extremely welcoming and open; many attendees weren’t: evident in their refusal to communicate, avoiding eye contact and closed body cues. Yes, there’s still more work to be done.

No, We Are Not Directly Related…

Tomesha Walker, another African American also attended the 2016 Confluence.  We were constantly mixed up in identities; we look nothing alike: from our hair, skin tone, and voice; there’s almost a 20 year age gap between the two of us. We were immediately assumed be related; it became so frequent, the Latinas began making Tomesha and I relatives. It was funny the first few times, by the 20th time, it was ridiculous. I had a Spinning Baby trainer ask me if I felt ‘uncomfortable’ being in Minnesota. My response: my ancestors touched every part of this country from it’s inception, I belong everywhere. Here’s how absent the African American pregnancy/birth was at Spinning Babies Confluence 2016:
    • Dr. Anke Reitter presented on her study of pelvic measurements from      Germany with no African representation in her work despite the myth that the African pelvis is “built for breeding.”
    • Birth workers from Australia are not Aboriginal is descent or origin.
    • Jeanne Ohm, DC presented an empowering presentation that included birth justice; how couples must dismiss birth professionals from the birth room when they become too overbearing. African American patients cannot do what she suggested without some form of retaliation that involves CPS and security.
    • Phyllis Klaus LCSW brought the mental health component to SBC 2016 without  diversity in mental health and pregnancy/birth.
    • Dr. Dennis Hartung is a noted Obstetrician expert on breech births. I wonder if he has presented nationally so that his knowledge may reach OB’s of color? It wasn't evident if he supported any African American breech births and their outcomes.
So Now What?

Spinning While Black has to come from the top down (I LOVE saying that!) Gail Tully has to secure presenters who offer diverse research, have diverse presentation in mental health and obstetrics and have presentations on race that all attendees must hear and not be an elective, no one gets to sit out on the message of race and birth. There must be contribution from local African American birth workers, including the only birthing center (Roots) owned and operated by Rebecca Polston, an African American midwife who was blatantly absent from the 2016 Confluence; however Tully strongly suggested the African Americans who were at Spinning Babies Confluence 2016 visit Roots Birthing Center and Polston on their own. We did and it was awesome! So many at the Confluence needed to witness Polston’s success.

It’s not enough to perpetuate the rhetoric of the lack of African American participation when there isn't adequate African American leadership and cultural participation. It’s not enough for African Americans to invest in trainings that do not represent them in diversity or leadership. There are communities of color that need African American trainers in Spinning Babies; this is where infant mortality can possibly decrease. There are a myriad of evidence based studies of the impact of African American maternal and infant mortality in the USA. Access is part of the solution. To wonder why blacks do not attend when there’s absent /poor representation of them; is part of the problem, not a solution. I remain grateful to Gail Tully; her kindness allowed me to be a spectator; my skills and ethnicity command that I am a player. It’s time for Tully and her current trainers to Spin into the conversation of birth and race. Black babies, black women and black birth workers spin too. Listen to this video clip link with an open mind on just how vital diversity is for women: https://www.facebook.com/NappyFu/videos/1165722990160534/